Prom Night

Brittany Snow spends most of the movie looking like this.

I finally got around to renting the remake of Prom Night last night, and hoo boy. Not that the 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis flick was much better, but at least I remember it fondly. This one was…well, gah. It was full of so many problems, nothing could save it. Not even The Schaech as the villain, which honestly was the only thing I found entertaining.

Look, with horror movies you have to expect a certain amount of stuipidity from the characters, or there wouldn’t be any killing. But when the cops are so inept that they a) can’t figure out that the escaped mental patient may have cut his shaggy hair and shaved b) can’t figure out that perhaps letting all hotel guests leave en masse isn’t the way to catch him and c) have only a handful of their most unprepared officers guarding the house where his target is waiting for him – I gotta say WHAT?

And this is all ignoring the fact that there’s no f’ing way a Prom Queen hopeful would leave minutes before the King & Queen announcement to get it on with her boyfriend in their room – especially after talking about how important it was for her to be crowned for the ENTIRE FIRST HALF OF THE FILM.

Anyway. What could have saved this? Splatter, splatter and more splatter. Of which, there was one beautiful arc when said Prom Queen got her throat slit (in apparently a floor under construction that the elevator just happened to stop at…???). One. That’s it! All those victims, and very little blood. The killer must have had a mop or some kind of cleaning supplies on him. Perhaps a Mr. Clean Magic Sponge? Otherwise, I have no idea where all the carnage ended up, as it wasn’t on him, the floor, the walls, the bed – really anywhere but the bodies.

That was a long-winded rant, I know. But if you’re curious about this one, don’t be. It’s not worth it.

Oh, people. Will you stop remaking horror flicks already? I’m terrified at how the new Friday the 13th came out. *sigh*

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