A Nightmare on Elm Street & Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

 

I’ve written a few times before about Wes Craven’s A Nightmare on Elm Street, why it’s so important to me, and why I love it so. But, I’m gonna go ahead and tell you again, and then cover New Nightmare too.

 A Nightmare on Elm Street was made in 1984, and I hear teenagers now say all the time that it’s stupid and not scary. And I want to punch them in their stupid mouths. (Just kidding! Kinda).

Look, I understand. The 80s were an amazingly awful time for fashion and hair, and everybody looks horrible and dated. And there is such a flood of gory, scary movies now that there’s no way a dude with knives on his fingers that haunts your nightmares is going to creep you out. But I still think it’s brilliant.

There is so much to love here—the creation of the glove at the beginning, the splatteriffic death of Tina in front of her boyfriend, Rod; “Screw your pass!”, the origin of Freddy (before that ridiculous “son of a 100 maniacs” crap in part 3), the fountain of blood that erupts from Glen’s bed, “I’m your boyfriend now!”, and Nancy totally kicking some serious ass when she’s done with Krueger killing all her friends. (more…)

Literally Screaming for Ice Cream

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Dude. We never get stuff this cool on this side of the pond. :/ Stoyn’s ice cream (in Russia! auuugh!) is making ice cream bars with classic 80s horror icons Pinhead, Chuckie, The Predator Alien, Freddy, and Jason. Admittedly, the flavors all sound pretty weird (tomato/hot pepper? celery/melon??) but they LOOK AWESOME.

*want*

(h/t to my friend Steven for pointing this out to me!)

Murder by Numbers: Freddy’s Kill Count

Every once in awhile I become obsessed with the number of kills and the ways in which people are dispatched, and I think about actually documenting it for future reference in a nerdy stats kind of way – and thus, I begin with the original seven A Nightmare on Elm Street Films.

(I left Freddy Vs. Jason out because I was wrestling with whether the kills he used Jason to facilitate count as his, or Jason’s…)

Spoilers obviously ahead: 

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) 

  • Tina: gutted by Freddy claw
  • Rod: strangled with a prison bed sheet
  • Glen: death by Freddy, who pulled him into his own bed with half his room, which resulted in a massive blood-letting
  • Marge Thompson (Nancy’s mom): choked and burnt to death by a flaming Freddy

Final kill count = 4

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)

  • Coach Schneider – pummeled by sports equipment, tied up by jump rope, and dragged to the shower where he’s stripped naked, beaten with towels, and then eventually slashed by Freddy while being showered with his own blood.
  • Grady – slit end to end against a door by Freddy’s glove after he crawls out of Jesse’s body
  • 5 anonymous teens slashed to death by Freddy at the pool party
  • one anonymous teen trampled by other fleeing teens
  • 1-4 more boiled alive in the pool (impossible to tell who made it out alive)
  • Kerry – death by Freddy hand busting out of her chest on the final bus ride

Kill count = 9-14

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

  • Phillip – posing as a puppet, Freddy slices his arms and legs open to pull out tendons, than walks him off the top of the building where he falls to his death
  • Jennifer – grabbed by TV Freddy (the set sprouts mechanical arms and a Freddy head with antennae) and pulled headfirst into the screen, presumably dying of electrocution.
  • Taryn – injected with needles from Freddy’s hands until her veins pop out of her head
  • Will – stabbed in the neck by Freddy claw after a failed wizard-magic attempt
  • Lt. Thompson (Nancy’s father) thrown by Freddy skeleton onto a sharp car part, which punctures his chest and kills him
  • Nancy – stabbed in the gut by Freddy’s glove (while he’s masquerading as her father)

Kill count = 6

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

  • Kincaid – stabbed in the gut by Freddy in the car junkyard where his skeleton was buried, after being brought back to life by a fire-peeing dog. (what.)
  • Joey – drowned in his own waterbed by Freddy after being lured in by a naked model (what. what.)
  • Kristen – thrown into boiler by Freddy and burned to death in her own bed.
  • Sheila – has the breath sucked out of her by Freddy, which translates to a fatal asthma attack.
  • Rick – Killed by Freddy’s glove to the gut after a martial arts battle, in which Krueger is invisible.
  • Debbie – Turns into a roach and gets stuck in a roach motel and squashed by Freddy (what, what, what.)

Kill count = 6

A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989)

  • Dan – gets trapped by buckles gone wild in his own car, which causes a crash, wherein Dan then jumps on a motorcycle which Freddy fuses him to (including injecting him with fuel) and causes him to crash again, dying this time….back in his truck, which explodes.
  • Greta – fed a ton of food by Freddy at a dinner party that translates into her choking to death.
  • Mark – gets sucked into a comic book and turns into one of his superhero drawings to fight Freddy, but then Freddy turns into a giant indestructible superhero and then swipes at a now two-dimensional drawing of Mark, tearing him to pieces.

Kill count = 3

Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

  • Carlos – Freddy chops off his entire ear, and then gives him back his hearing aid—which turns into a gross biological thing that fuses with his flesh to make his hearing super powered and overwhelming, until his head explodes from Freddy’s claws against a chalkboard.
  • Spencer – gets sucked into the TV and ends up in a videogame that Freddy controls, which (after WAY too long of a scene) ends with him bouncing around the house beating himself up and falling down the stairs into a hole, dying.
  • John – galls from the sky after Freddy cuts his (imaginary dream) parachute onto a bed of nails.
  • (in flashback) Mrs. Kreuger – Freddy’s wife – strangled and beaten to death after she learns the awful truth.

Kill count = 4

New Nightmare (1994)

  • Chase – gets stabbed in the chest by his new Freddy glove, which causes a fatal car crash
  • Julie – stabbed in the back and dragged up the wall, torn apart by (very similar to Tina’s death in the original)
  • Chuck & Terry – Special F/X guys – stabbed in the neck by their animated Freddy claw (you see this earlier in the film during a dream sequence, but Nancy is told they died later in real life)

Kill count = 4 

Freddy Vs. Jason

Today, you get a short post from me because I am just too damn tired to concentrate long enough for a coherent rant about why I love Freddy Vs. Jason.

Long story short (too late!): After many years of speculation, rewrites, and fiascos, they did this thing up RIGHT. The writers paid close attention to all the Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th movies that had come before, and worked in (very accurate) details referencing both Freddy and Jason’s origins and things that had happened in the originals and sequels — plus, they nailed both killers’ style of dispatching victims.

This was honestly the most fun I’d had watching a horror movie in the theater in a long, long time. The perfect amount of splatter & gore, and major points for knowing what it is and not taking itself too seriously.

Not convinced you should see it yet? I have one more thing to say to you: Monica Keena’s cleavage is a star in its own right.

Can’t Look Away @ the EMP/SFM

If any of you live in or near Seattle, or are planning to visit the Seattle area anytime soon (okay, even within the next 2 years), you HAVE to check out EMP’s new horror-centric exhibit, Can’t Look Away: The Lure of Horror Film. It is simply. AMAZING.

I wrote a review of it for Three Imaginary Girls, and you can view all the photos I took on Flickr, here.

I. cannot. stop. raving about it. !!!

Artfully Terrifying

This is FANTASTIC! So much goodness packed into one illustration.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

31 Horror Movies I Own #28: A Nightmare on Elm Street
“I’m your boyfriend now, Nancy

I’ve written previously about my love for A Nightmare on Elm Street, but I wanted to reiterate how AWESOME the original 1984 movie is.

Wes Craven created one badass sicko in the form of Fred Krueger, which is why I continue to forgive him for crap like Cursed. Sure, the hair and makeup are incredibly dated, and twee little Johnny Depp getting sucked into his bed with his television doesn’t make any sense, but those things aren’t enough to tarnish this classic. It’s just that brilliant.

In case you don’t know, the story centers on teenager Nancy Thompson, her boyfriend Glen (Johnny) and her slutty friend Tina and bad boy counterpart Rod being terrorized in their dreams by a man with knives for hands. The only problem is that if dude kills you IN your dream, you actually die in real life. Oh, and it’s actually all their parents fault. Oops!

So lets talk about the good stuff: SO much great gore! So many buckets of splatteriffic goodness. The scene where Tina is being thrown around on the walls and ceiling while she’s being slashed to bits? So, so, so, so great. And Robert Englund as Freddy; the expert at deadly wit, the dream master, the bastard son of 1,000 maniacs—well, what can I say? The man rules all schools.

I also own the complete set of sequels, none of which, of course, are as great as the original, but I do still appreciate them as a whole. It’s also worth mentioning that Freddy Vs. Jason was a nicely done tongue-in-cheek film, with total devotion to both the horror icon’s legends in a way that made me very, very happy.

So the only question is, how did I feel about the 2010 remake? Well, I thought it was horrible and completely unnecessary. There’s no reason for you to see the update, guys. Just rent this one instead.

Horror-vertising?

Horror-vertising?

As discovered on i09.com – a Dubai-based ad agency named Tonic came up with a unique way to sell Burger King; by showing horror icons Jason, Freddy, Chuckie and the Scream ghostface prepping for kills by devouring burgers & fries.

Contrary to claiming these ads promote murder, I view it as harmless fun. I particularly like the way Jason’s photo shows a cheerleader trussed up and slung over the front window. NICE job, Tonic. They’d never allow this kind of stuff in the states, but I commend your creativity!

How I found out I loved Horror films (AKA: how a nightmare led to a Nightmare)

Sometime when I was around 8 or 9, the flashy new cable channel my dad had ordered kept playing previews for Brian De Palma’s Dressed to Kill. I was fascinated by the scene in the elevator with the flash of a straight razor. I BEGGED my parents to let me watch it. “Let me watch it! Please please please ohpleasepleasepleaseplease pleasesssseeeeeeee”. They both told me I’d get nightmares and I was too old to sleep with them when I got scared, NO WAY. But I did not relent! Finally, they gave in.

Guess what? I had nightmares and ended up in my parent’s bed around 3am. “WE TOLD YOU SO! No more scary movies until you’re….13”.

Unfortunately for me, before I turned 13 – Friday the 13th Part 3 became a hot topic amongst my 6th grade friends,  to the point where we were passing around the book adaptation on the bus, taking turns staring at the gruesome film stills in the middle and reading the grossest murder descriptions. Yes, middle school kids are sick. I know this.

In any case, even MORE unfortunate for me, 2 years later A Nightmare On Elm Street came out, but since I was only TWELVE, I was not allowed to see it, even though everysinglefrickinotherkid in school was. So I had to endure a year of comments like this:

“Oh man! When his tongue came out of the phone! SO GROSS! I’m your boyfriend now Nancy! I’m your boyfriend now!”

In short, my parents SUCK. Not really, but in my 12-year-old brain they so did. To make it up to me later, my dad rented it for me (VHS baby!) after I turned 13, and my mom set up a viewing party to which I invited my neighborhood friends: 2 girls and 3 guys. Please note: all friends were a few years older than me, and the guys were on the High School Football team.

The above is an important detail, because about 20 minutes into the movie, my dad put on a disguise, plugged a chainsaw into an outlet in the stairwell (we lived in a split-level) and ran up the stairs revving the hell out of it while laughing maniacally – and every single one of those tough football players screamed as loud as us girls and scrambled over each other to run to safety.

True story. I’m not kidding.  My dad tried to scare me & my friends to death using a real chainsaw. And I’m not saying this is “the” reason I started really loving horror films, but I bet it did enhance the thrill-factor of Elm Street, and I sure couldn’t get enough of scares & gore after that.

And before you ask: no, I didn’t have more nightmares that night, and I most definitely did not climb into my parent’s bed when I was 13.