RINGS

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{cross-posted to Three Imaginary Girls

It’s been 12 years since The Ring 2 (TWELVE?!?! YEARS?!?!) so I suppose it was about time for Samara and her f’ed up psychic video feed to resurface, because we need something other than reality to terrify us in 2017 – amirite?

Terrify isn’t exactly the word I would use here, but Rings does have its moments — I just wish its moments had been closer together in say, a tighter 60 minute package instead of a looooooooong and slowly drawn out 1 hour and 45 minute one.

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The American Scream


{Cross-posted to Three Imaginary Girls

The American Scream is one of those amazingly awesome documentaries full of people that make you cry because they are so damn passionate about what they’re doing.

And in this case, what they’re doing is setting up “Home Haunts”, which means running full-scale haunted houses every Halloween that they put together themselves, and pay for with their own money. (I swear, if we ever got trick-or-treaters at our house, and our yard was bigger than a walk-in closet, I’d be doing the same thing!)

Directed by Michael Paul Stephenson (who played the kid in Troll 2, and directedBest Worst Movie), this intensely personal doc follows three families in Fairhaven, MA who put on complicated haunted houses every year: Victor Bariteau, Manny Souza, and Matt & Rick Broudeur work all year long to make sure the neighborhood kids have a good time on All Hallows’ Eve. (more…)

Lovely Molly

{Cross-posted to Three Imaginary Girls

Opening with a “found footage” sequence (expected by Director Eduardo Sanchez, one-half of the writing and directing team that brought us The Blair Witch Project) packed with intense emotion, Lovely Molly then backtracks to start at the beginning.

Scraping together money to start their new life together, young married couple Molly and Tim Reynolds move back into her parent’s home: a spooky out-in-the-middle of nowhere 18th century house that Molly will be spending a LOT of time alone in while her husband works long hour trucking across the country.

It isn’t long before Molly starts being terrorized by sounds of footsteps, slamming doors, and an eerily haunting singsong voice that she believes is her dead father. As Molly slips deeper into depression and despair, the details of her tortured childhood are slowly revealed: horrible physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her father that led her to retreat into heavy drug use and destructive behavior, which she is repeating again with an even faster—and scarier—descent.

And this is where I disagree with most of the reviews I’ve read about this movie that say, “it’s not scary”, because it’s actually fucking terrifying. The thing is, the most frightening thing about Lovely Molly isn’t the horror aspect of the story—it’s the past demons that Molly is facing that make you feel true terror.  (more…)

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

Tom Six should probably just quit now. I mean, with the whole “Human Centipede” thing at least. But according to IMDB, we’re in for a third installment (Final Sequence), so yay. Us.

Some of you might be wondering why I even bothered to watch this film, but as a horror fan, I felt like I HAD to. And honestly, pretty much any time a film is deemed “too horrible to watch” and has to go through something like 23 cuts before it can even be shown to anyone, I have to admit that I will find that film intriguing enough to view, just so I can figure out what’s what. I only waited this long because it’s now streaming on Netflix, so it’s the cheapest possible way for me to watch.

But unlike both Martyrs and The Woman, which are also surrounded by controversy because of extreme gore and torture, The Human Centipede 2 didn’t leave me feeling glad I’d watched it. And also unlike both those films, HCN2 is almost totally irredeemable. This one is clearly Six’s answer to everyone who complained that the first movie was too campy and didn’t have enough gore. The thing is, I liked the first one. It was entertaining as hell, and I loved the beyond bleak ending. This one though … yeesh.

SPOILERS AHEAD (more…)

Open House

Open House (2010)

Those of you who might have seen the cover art for this film probably noticed that Sookie & Bill from True Blood are featured prominently. That’s actually a slick marketing trick, since their combined screen time is less than 10 minutes. It all makes sense, though, because this little horror flick is directed by Anna Pacquin’s brother, Andrew…and it’s honestly a pretty impressive debut. (more…)

Home Movie

Home Movie (2008)
“I dare you to watch until our movie is done”

Let’s talk about that tagline a little bit. THAT tagline implies that something super extra gruesome is going to happen at the end – does it not? And yet, this is not the case.

This movie starts out very, very, very slow, which is not a good sign for something that’s only 76 minutes total. Adrian Pasdar plays a minister named David (which is something you don’t realize until he puts his collar on, what with all the drinking and sexy talk), and his wife Clare is a child psychiatrist. (more…)