RINGS

{cross-posted to Three Imaginary Girls}  It’s been 12 years since The Ring 2 (TWELVE?!?! YEARS?!?!) so I suppose it was about time for Samara and her f’ed up psychic video feed to resurface, because we need something other than reality to terrify us in 2017 – amirite? Terrify isn’t exactly the word I would use

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Phantasm: Ravager – Reggie the ice cream man does not mess around

{Cross-posted to Three Imaginary Girls} “I could really go for a Rocket Pop right now” So begins the saga of Reggie in Phantasm: Ravager, the fifth — and apparently final — installment of the Phantasm universe. The pony-tailed ice cream truck driver has been on a journey to defeat The Tall Man and save his friends from

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The Neon Demon

{cross-posted to Three Imaginary Girls}  “I know how I look. What’s wrong with that?” Last night I finally go to see Nicolas Winding Refn’s epic shock porn horror art piece, The Neon Demon, which many of the people at Cannes deemed as “trash,” and walked out of. A few people in the theater with me last

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The Funhouse Massacre

{cross-posted to Three Imaginary Girls} “It’s not like the Funhouse is creepily positioned in the middle of nowhere with only a broken-down asylum nearby, haunted by the ghosts of its dead, deranged inmates …what’s there to be afraid of? Come on!” Except it’s totally like that. The Funhouse Massacre unleashes a posse of the most dangerous

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TUSK

{cross-posted to Three Imaginary Girls} A horror movie from Kevin Smith? Based on one of his smodcasts? About a guy who lures unsuspecting victims to his home in order to turn them into … walruses? Yup. Tusk is all of those things. And while the premise IS ridiculous, the first two-thirds are actually pretty terrifying,

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Junk Bonds: The Return of Junk Bucket

This is one of those rare instances where I’ve seen a sequel *before* I’ve seen the original, but in the case of this splatter-filled horror comedy, I think it’s fine. I’ll eventually get around to watching Stephen Lange’s first feature: Junkbucket—and based on its sequel: Junk Bonds: The Return of Junk Bunket, I’m sure I’ll

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31 Horror Movies in 31 Days …. Ish

So much for getting this all wrapped up last October! Excuses are lame, so I’m not going to make them. Instead, how about I finish what I started by giving you the scoop on the rest of the Stephen King adaptations I’ve seen. {side note: even though I LOVE The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile,

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The Babadook

{tentative release date: October 2014} Holycrap, you guys. HOLYCRAP. I was not prepared for how awesome this Australian horror film would be. I mean, how scary can another spin on The Boogeyman actually be, right? The answer, though, is REALLY F’ING SCARY. The basics: grieving mom, out-of-control son, creepy book, unleashed creature, possession, and some really amazing

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