Night of the Demons

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Nice strategically place rips, there.

Night of the Demons 1988 Vs. 2009

The 1988 version of Night of the Demons is by no means a masterpiece, but since it was released during my impressionable teenage years, I kind of love it. It’s slow-going and takes forever to get to the gore, but when it does, it’s a mix of terror and WTF moments, involving lipstick being ingested by boob and naughty 80s dancing.

Unfortunately, the remake gets everything wrong. It starts off with a back story shown as if it’s a silent movie. Wait, what? Why? And then spirals into ridiculousness by casting Shannon Elizabeth as Goth Girl Angela and by somehow trying to make us believe that hot-as-hell Monica Keena (don’t even get me started on her “scary” costume) would have ever dated drug dealer/loser Edward Furlong. But I digress…what’s really wrong with this remake is that it’s just plain not scary.

Instead of going for anything that might actually work on some level of terror, they just took the key scenes from the original and tried to “twist” them with tons more sex and stupid special F/X (the infamous lipstick scene had way more impact the first time around), then gave their characters the lamest dialog ever so there’s no chance in hell you want anyone to make it out alive.

The scariest part is actually seeing iconic scream queen Linnea Quigley in her outfit from the original movie, bending over to show her ass to….I guess a bunch of 8-year-old trick or treaters. Wait, what? Why?

That’s actually how I’m going to sum up the 2009 Night of the Demons from now on: Wait, what? WHY? A total disappointment, and a complete waste of time.

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